Going through a divorce can be very hard on the spouses. Additionally, it can be devastating for the children. This doesn't mean that every divorce has to be excruciating for the kids. In fact, there are many things that parents can do to help the children through the divorce process.

Here are a couple things that parents should do to ensure that the child is taken care of both emotionally and physically during the divorce process:

1. Avoid Going Before A Judge

The best thing you can do for yourself and your children is avoid going before a judge. A judge does not know your family. They do not understand the specific needs of your children. When you go to court you give the judge the power to decide the fate and custody of your child.

Judges don't like to do it because they don't feel equipped, and the parents don't like it because it rarely is decided the way they want it. For this reason, you need to sit down with your ex-spouse either in mediation or privately, and decide what is best for the children. This will ensure that your child is getting placed where they will be happiest and have their needs met.

2. Never Use A Child For Leverage

A child is a human being, not property that should be divided. Never think of your child as a bargaining tool against your spouse. Do not withhold time with the parent and the child because you are trying to punish your spouse. What you are doing is punishing the child as well.

Instead, the child is completely separate from the estate. If you have a disagreement about money, then fight about money and leave the children out of it. This will help the child to be safe and protected during the divorce process.

3. Remember The Child's Feelings

Although you may no longer love your spouse, your child still loves their parents. A child should be free to love and praise both parents, even if you no longer feel positive feelings toward your ex-spouse. Allow the child to spend time with both parents and don't make it a competition. The child needs to have both their father and mother in their life, and if you let your personal feelings get in the way of the child's feelings, you can cause emotional damage. Thus, keep the child the focus.

By doing these things you can protect your child during a divorce.  To learn more, or ask questions, contact a company like The Law Office of John J. Donohoe to learn more.